Toys for Grownups who Refuse to Grow Up


As a kid, your favorite magazines were the ones that featured not just the exteriors, but also the interiors and schematics of the things that go “vroom”. Now, you’re all grown up, at least on the outside. Inside, you just can’t wait for your mid-life crisis to begin so that you can have an excuse to buy a few of those grown up toys you dreamed about as a kid.

Now, you have a good job and a good life. But you still have a place in your heart, and your garage for just a few more things…

A Racecar

Now we’re talking. The fact that you will never actually get onto a track and race against other drivers is irrelevant. Half the fun of having a souped-up car is souping it up yourself. Getting to drive it from time to time is just a bonus. Buying the Beemer is just the first step. Carefully and lovingly modifying it over the years will provide the balance of Zen and thrill than made your heart beat just a little faster as a kid. Just be sure you have a good source. For specialty BMW parts, you might try searching

A Honda Gold Wing

If you don’t want a Honda Gold Wing, it is because you haven’t seen one. Exhilaration is not only produced by speed, but by elegance and refinement. If all you want is bugs in your teeth, any old crotch-rocket will do. A Gold Wing is less a crotch-rocket and more a crotch-limo. The ride is smooth and dead silent. It is the type of recreational vehicle the whole family will enjoy, just not all at once. You are going to want to take your kids to school on this thing. And when you drop them off, you are going to want to find a long, winding road to nowhere.

A Speed Boat

Have you considered one of these? When you are board with racing on four-wheels, then two-wheels, you might want to try racing about on no wheels at all. Once you acquire your modestly priced speed boat, you might want to give it a cool paint job and make it look sort of like famous boats with names like, “Hustler 41 Razor” and “Cigarette Racer 46’ Rider. Skipping across the water on a speed boat is about the closest thrill you can get to flying without buying an airplane.

To be clear, there is nothing practical about fast cars, luxury motorcycles, and speed boats. They do not exist for practicality. They exist to keep the spark of thrill ever alive in our hearts. Nothing about humanity is practical in a strictly utilitarian sense. We only need to ingest certain nutrients. But we love to cook and eat and indulge in epicurean delights. We only need clothes for modesty and protection. But we are flamboyant in our self-expressions and sense of fashion. We need language to say things. But we use it to write poetry and music. So why should we restrict ourselves to practicality and utility when it comes to the things that go, “Vroom”? We shouldn’t. If growing up means being completely practical, then may we never grow up.

Featured image credit: A small boy playing/ShutterStock

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